One time I woke up in the middle of the night to tapping on my roof. I kind of got scared because in the exorcist they hear tapping in the attic before that girl gets possessed. The tapping continued for a short while until I heard a slide and then a thump. I thought to myself "hmm that was weird" and went back to sleep.
The next morning when I went out to go to school I saw a squirrel with a tiny top hat and tiny tap shoes laying on the ground dead. He should know that tap dancing on a slanted roof is dangerous.
Once I saw an ostrich at the zoo, it looked like a friendly ostrich so I decided to pat him on the head. The ostrich didn't like my hand apparently so he bit it off. Feeling a little angry and a bit sad I decided to jump over the fence to get my hand back. I chased the ostrich all over creation until I finally caught up with him. It has been said that ostriches can run up to 40 miles an hour and since I caught him that must mean I can run over 40 miles an hour. When I caught up to him I jumped on him and threw him to the ground. I decided that I would use the old eye for an eye tooth for a tooth rule and I tried to bite off his hand, but he didn't have one so I bit my other one off, and we had a hand eating contest.
The ostrich and I decided that hands were too hard to eat because they have too many bones. So I went to the restroom to sew my hands back on. It was nearly impossible sewing my hand back on because I didn't have anything to hold the needle and thread with.
Blog owner's note: I learned about tap dancing on a slanted roof the hard way too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You people are all strange. Seriously.
Post a Comment