Life Rules

I have some rules that I try to follow in life. 


Rules I Follow Most All of the Time:
Get a kart at Target. (even if I'm "just getting a ......")
Don't read the comments on online articles. (Especially adoption articles.)
Keep my reusable grocery bags in the car.
Do not touch the phone while driving.
No McDonald's. Being hungry is better than the feeling after eating McDonald's.
Wait for it to be on sale.


Rules I am Trying to Follow Most of the Time but I am Still Learning to do Better:
Don't pick up random books at the library. Stick with recommendations or NYT Best Sellers.
Listen to my brain. (Instincts, etc.)
Interact with people. (You know, at the checkout lane instead of just standing there.)
Have a "next book" in mind while reading current book.
Be nice. (Including saying nice things to people even if I think "enough" people are saying them).


Rules I'd Like to say I'm Following but I'm Not, and Hope Will Move Up in the List:
Eat more vegetables.
Exercise.
Don't be afraid of "failing" and just try.

Do creative things somewhat regularly.

Ew.

I tried to type "I was traumatized BY a cat noise..." And I typed MY so what happened was that I typed "my" and "cat" in the same sentence which is gross. 

Commercials

According to commercials:

Happy meals will extend childhood

Every walker that walks will save one cancer patient, 1:1

Commercials are dumb. 

Miming While Driving

I'm a mix of proud of myself and ashamed.

As I was driving home there was a car following me TOO CLOSE even by Chicago-land standards.  Then I noticed she was texting.  So by the time I turned left and she was going to straight, I was a little upset.  Upset enough, apparently, that I tapped my horn.

Let me clarify that I did really (hardly) tap the horn.  I mean, I'm kind of surprised she heard it or looked up.  My horn is weak.   If I actually laid on the horn, you would laugh because it actually sounds like it is sick or the horn-battery-that-doesn't-exist is dying.  So there is either real real quick burst or real quick burst or a quick burst so as to avoid being laughed at or confusing people (what is that weird dying noise??).  As we all know, GM hardly recalled the ignition problem, so I'm assuming they aren't going to recall my horn...

Anyway, I was upset enough, apparently, that I tapped my horn and she looked up.  I mimed and mouthed "texting?"  She was like "yea" smiling and nodding like, "texting is the best, right?"  And here I wish I would have modified my mood, therefore modifying my behavior.  She wasn't a jerk. She wasn't out to kill us all.  Just making a super stupid (and illegal) decision.  But I was angry, I was in the domino line of upset and mean, and I just mouthed "stupid.  It's stupid." While, I think, having a disgusted look on my face.

And then I refused to look over again.  Longestredever.

And then I thought about it THE WHOLE WAY HOME.

-I both wish and don't wish that we lived in a culture that was more openly and comfortably monitoring the social behavior of strangers.
-I love that thehusband is really good at being decent to all people, even when he's upset.
-I wish I looked at all people and always saw the person that Jesus loves.  Always. In all my moods.
-I wonder if driver's ed in Chicagoland teaches: leaving space between the car in front of you, picking up speed during turns, and using turn signals.
-Maybe I saved that girls life! Maybe she doesn't think I'm a huge jerk. Or maybe she's going to drive super recklessly now that I mouthed "Stupid" at her (twice).
-Am I super old and crotchety?
-Do I want to do this more? Less? (Less being NEVER. Ever. Except to friends, who I do monitor sometimes.  Love you all....)
-You are both not important enough to have to text while you are driving, and too important to text while you're driving.
-Worrying about how mean I was.  All things considered, though, I mouthed "Stupid" at her twice... I should be able to sleep tonight.
-Dear texter, if you're reading this, not calling YOU stupid.  But texting and driving is stupid. Please stop.
-Also embarrassing (and hypocritical) is that it took me the law to completely stop even though I knew it was completely stupid before the law.  So, thank you, law.

Simplifying complexities

I think it's cool that the world is complex, and that people are SUPER complex.  Sometimes I find it entertaining how, as SUPER complex human beings, we try to simplify things.  We make simple comments towards complex issues.  We forget difficult parts of nice things and focus on the nice part of difficult things.  (Or vice versa... see how complex this is??) Although we, as humans, have had two emotions co-exist together- it seems weird and almost needs a conscious effort to consistently remember that about ourselves or others' situations.

Sometimes I think this is funny. Sometimes I forget the human tendency to oversimplify.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed.

Isn't life great?

Hypochondriac

The word hypochondriac was first introduced to me in kindergarten when the school nurse called me a hypochondriac. I think it's important to note, however, that I DID HAVE THE CHICKEN POX.  

Listen to the Voice

I'm not sure when it happened, or why, but awhile ago I made a change in my life awhile that I would do a better job of listening to "the voice." 

There is always running commentary in my head, and that isn't exactly what I mean by "listening to the voice."  Also, so you know, I am aware the voice is not actually auditory, I know it's in my head, and I believe having voices in your head is at least somewhat normal so don't diagnose me.

Anyway, somewhere in my adult years I learned that sometimes that voice is actually sane and telling me useful things so I needed to listen to it when it was pretty loud and repeating itself.  (I can USUALLY tell between the sane voice and the not sane voice.  Am I sharing too much??)

This morning, as I was carrying two too many dishes, the voice was shouting "THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA." And I said back "I think I might be able to do it."  Which resulted in shattered glass in the hallway and thehusband and I a wine glass short of our set.  (Wine glass was from last night, not this morning.). I'm pretty upset about it and already emailed Bed Bath and Beyond to see what I should do.  I got excited because the set, a very very nice set, is not very expensive.  But I'm starting to think it's not expensive because it is no longer available. 

I'm pretty stubborn though so I will probably be looking for a replacement.... ahhhhh the rest of my life or something. 

All because I didn't listen to the voice.

Refunds

Here are the fun things on which we are considering spending our tax refund:

Home things

Here is what I "want" to do with the money:

Loans

Oh adulthood, you are a riot. 

Blog Queen... or Peon?

I'd like to blog more frequently but here are the barriers to that success:

1. All my good ideas come in the car, and once I'm out of the car the magic disappears and can not be re-found (no matter how hard I try).

2. I am not a consistent person.  I vacillate between wanting to become an uber famous blog person and freaking out that I'm putting (somewhat) personal information in public spaces.

3. I've blogged about this before but many of my funny stories are confidentially funny stories.

4. I'm married to someone who is consistent about freaking out about (somewhat) personal information on the internet.

5. I spend my time doing other things. Like reading or, more recently, watching a lot of episodes of Raising Hope.

6. I suppose the "not being consistent" also stretches to blogs. I remember it's there, and then I forget it is there.  Life is a tough, lovely cookie.  (Although for actual cookies, I prefer the soft/chewy variety).

7. Also I must be getting REALLY REALLY old old old because..... where is the "post" button?!