friend kyle: pants

Well, blogging.....I guess I have never ever had the chance to blog. Definitely something new, hip, makes me feel young again. Do you remember the days in junior high when everyone would sit on instant messenger and "chat" all night long. Well I know I did, and what I loser I was for doing that. Squirrels. Yes, squirrels. Do you like squirrels because I do? Well my main question is what is your favorite color? Mine is green, why well because grass is green, certain types of tractors are green, my eyes are green, that's why. How can you not like the color green?

Well the only story I can come up with right now is about a certain experience I had turkey hunting a few years ago with my grandpa and a friend. The only reason I thought of this story is due to fact that I will turkey hunting again with my grandpa again this weekend. So here it goes......

So about two years ago I planned this trip in eastern Iowa to go turkey hunting with a friend and my grandpa. Since I didn't have the chance to visit this friend very often I decided to stay the night at his place. So get up at like 3:00 in the morning and grab a quick bite to eat. And the only the he had for us to eat was yogurt. No problem I 've thrown down quite a few yogurts in my day so I just ate it and we were on our way. So we pick up my grandpa and I noticed that I start to get a little bit of an upset stomach. No problem, sometimes you just gotta suck it when you're up at 3am and mental enough to be out there that early. We get to the spot where we were going to hunt and of course its about a two mile walk across these huge pastures back to the woods. So I agreed to take the turkey blinds and walk ahead so I could get them set up by the time my grandpa and friend, who both walk slower, would get there. So I start setting up the blind and keep getting these really bad stomach cramps. And I'm thinking, wow, this is going to be a rough day. Not to mention that at least twice I got really bad stomach cramps while walking back to these woods. Not to mention, I had to even to lay on the ground a few times it hurt so bad. So I set the two blinds up and decide I should probably get the stakes out and secure them to the ground. So I reached down, kind of in a squat, to put the first stake in and BAMM, that's when it hit. My drawers, we are talking Hanes Classic Cotton Briefs, were not filled to their maximum potential. If they had a fill capacity, they were definitely over it. If you still don't get this, think about the number 2. So I sat there frozen, in the dark, wondering, what should one do when you're in this position. Stand up and risk everything possible spilling over the sides, over do you just henge up and risk having the other two laughs there butts off at you. So very carefully and ever so slowly I stood up, walked over to the woods. Then slowly ever so careful remove everything and some how some way I was able to escape from that mess, clean up with a little of nature's toilet paper, and toss the soiled drawers into the brush. And yes, I got made fun of, but hey I toughed it out, I ended up hunting the rest of the day, commando, with all kinds of nast in my pants, and then even worse part was that both, my grandpa and I htos and missed turkeys that day. I finally called it at about 10am, after being sick to my stomach now because of the oderferous odor that lurked from my seat. The towel was thrown and I just had to go back to get a clean set of clothes on. Well that is my story and probably the least amount of fun I have ever had in the great outdoors. Well we are going to give it try number two this week. And there will be no yogurt being consumed anytime before and/or during this expedition. Have a great weekend everyone!



*Blog owner's note: gross.