danielle: funny quotes and things

First of all let me just say that this is my first blogging experience. I'm glad that I'm getting to share it with Krista!!! Who knows, maybe after this I'll start my own blog. Well, probably not, because I don't keep up with internet-y things that well. I have to start this off by saying that Krista is a fantastic person!!! I am super excited about being roommates--it's going to pretty much be the best thing ever. I decided that I would add to the blog a couple funny quotes and jokes I have heard along the way. Well, at least I think they're funny--you might think they are stupid. I've been known to find things humorous that others thought were really dumb. But I felt like I could really use a laugh today, so I thought I would share :).

This one we saw on a sign in a window in downtown Arlington Heights. It said "I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk." Ha!

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

Lame pick up line..."Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you."

Joke everyone has probably heard a million times but still makes me laugh--Where would a waitress with really big boobs work? -Hooters. Where would a waitress with only one leg work? ........IHOP

"How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on."

Funny things my students have said...

"I did a good job today because I decided to use my mind." (Well thank you. I was foolishly thinking at school we might use our minds every day...)

When one of them came in from P.E. with a bag of candy I asked "Where did you get that?" He said "Oh I know people, Miss Castens." I need to form similar connections.

One morning before school, one of them goes "Miss Castens! Did you hear the news?!" really excitedly. I said "No--what news???" He said, "About the worms!" I said "No, what about them?" "There are worms all over the parking lot--and I killed some of them." Then he just stood there looking at me like I should be strongly reacting. I said "So is that the news?" He said "Yep" and went and sat down. ??????????? I have a strange, strange job.

I was coughing and sniffing the other day and one of them said "You know, you don't look so good today. You should probably go down to the nurse's office when we go to recess. She can take your temperature and give you an ice pack, and you'll feel better." They think the cure for everything, from a scraped knee to a stomach ache to a paper cut, is having the nurse take their temperature and give them an ice pack. Going and getting a drink also somehow works miracles on any ailment.

From the Chocolate Festival we went to--"If I ate a chocolate every time I thought of you, my butt would be the size of Texas."

Now some Yo Mama jokes.

Yo mama's so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.

Yo mama's so fat when she steps on the scale, it says "to be continued."

Yo mama's so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck.

Alright I think that's all I've got for now. Krista, aren't you glad that we're going to be roommates and I can tell you funny things like these all the time??? LUCKY, lucky you. Love you!!! :-)

* Blog owner's note: I am really really lucky! I think maybe the P.E. story is my favorite, but it is a tough call. The skydiving line is also clever.