Pearoblem:
There is a pear tree in our back yard. That's pretty cool except that the pears drop in our yard, get half eaten by squirrels (or one of my roommates... Lydia? Are you half eating all of those pears and leaving them strewn about the yard?) and decompose.
That leaves a mess for when you are trying to walk around anywhere. It also leaves kind of a weird, not that pleasant stench.
So I picked some up today. There was an empty pot behind our garage so I put them in there. Now I don't know what to do with them. If I were at my parent's house I would throw them over the fence to the cows. Below are some options.
1. Make a pie. Hope no one notices the bugs.
2. Ammunition for passerby's
3. Ammunition for tweens outside of Starbucks.
4. Sling shot competition.
5. Throw over the fence.. into neighbor's yard.
6. Buy a cow. Feed pears to the cow. (also would reduce money used on milk)
7. In the Bible Nintendo game you throw pears at the panda to get it to come to the Ark. Also a possibility.
8. Play truth or dare. All dares include... eating a decomposing pear. (Pear dare! ha)
9. Write a note to the squirrels to finish their food!
10. Hide the pears in our weeds growing everywhere (although I did pull some!!)
11. Get the pears to drop on people seemingly from our evergreen (in front) and tape the reactions.
Feel free to leave suggestions.
6 comments:
rotten pear smoothie. the bugs are like a protein boost!
I like number 11, but if you choose not to do that, you should definitely use the pears as ammunition for SOMETHING.
now THIS is a funny post.
i only ate about 17 of the half eaten pears. i think we should bring them to group on tuesday. we'll put all the rotten pears in a beautiful basket and see how long it takes someone to make a comment about who brought all those nasty looking pears? and then we will leave a little early and not take the pears and then they won't be our problem anymore.
i only ate about 17 of the half eaten pears. i think we should bring them to group on tuesday. we'll put all the rotten pears in a beautiful basket and see how long it takes someone to make a comment about who brought all those nasty looking pears? and then we will leave a little early and not take the pears and then they won't be our problem anymore.
You could fashion the pears onto hats and make everyone march in a pearade with clowns and trumpets and a precession and all.
You could go to the playground and get a crowd of hungry people around. Tell them to look up and open their mouths because its going to be raining food any second. Then put the pear bucket on the end of a teeter totter, climb onto a ladder, and jump onto the teeter totter, thus raining delicious halfeaten food on hungry people.
You could put them in water and bob for pears. Although some may have an apple identity crisis of some sort.
You could mash up all the pears and save them until Halloween. There is always, always, ALWAYS something you can do with mashed up, moldy, half eaten, rotted pears on Halloween.
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