introducing: wes

Just a few things about Wes since I feel like I have said so much already. I'll just throw out there that he was famous around these parts before I made him more famous with that email.

With that said, here are a list of names that I call Wes/he goes by. I thought it'd make the best introduction. They are in no particular order except maybe the order that I use them most often (just kidding).

1. Shit

2. Little shit

3. Wes

4. Wesley

5. Mathias

6. Porkchop

7. Wesh

8. Wessy

9. West

10. Sport (ok, that's a lie)

11. No beard the pirate (that one time.. when he didn't have a beard for about a day)

12. Famous man

One time Wes asked me over his apartment intercom "Krista, how's your herpes?" I don't really have herpes.

allison: here it is here it is...

Grits. Yes here I am sitting on my golden couch eating a bowl of grits. They are buttered and salted. Like most grits should be in the world.

My name is Allison. I am white and American. I work in ministry with international students, live in a black neighborhood, and work with a staff team that is predominately Asian American. Let me say that my life is interesting. If you need a consultant on cross-cultural or ethnic conflict please ask Krista for my number. Actually don’t, because it is a big hot mess most times.

Some call me Alli, to others I am A-Bomb, and the best call me simply “A.” I have learned in my cross-cultural experiences that A-bomb should not be used in the ‘name game’ while Japanese students are present.

It has been done.

And it will never be done again. I have also learned that a simple and innocent wink at an Indian student is not received how I intend it to be received. It probably is never advisable to give any person that you mentor connotations of the like.

Currently I am learning the upside-down nature of the Kingdom. And in Kingdom I do not mean anything of the fantasy or RPG type world. I see this nature as He somehow uses simple people to impact the PhD’s and scholars of this world. I see this nature as the foreigner receives voice to challenge its welcomer. I see this nature as clay-like and fragile containers are left to contain powerful substances.

Sometimes I prefer tangerines over apples.

But I have always preferred potatoes over any vegetable. If vegetables had a hierarchy of value, I would put the potatoes at the top. If potatoes had a hierarchy I would give sweet potatoes the position of privilege and honor over the white potatoes or red potatoes. But I guess it all is relative to ones own preference?

I have learned and I am learning much. Deep goes to deep. Bigger just gets bigger. And grits are always grits.

*Blog owner's note: I don't really have one but I thought I should keep up with the tradition.

introducing: allison

I think my first interaction with Allison was when she said I must be from Minnesota, but I'm not. Our freshman year in college we took Mark Bible study together in Weller. We had a conversation outside the room once that the time in our study wasn't enough and we wanted to dig deeper. I invited her to join me in the library, with only a Bible dictionary and a Bible encyclopedia and we spent around 3 hours looking stuff up and finding out how sweet the Word of God is.

Allison is hilarious. She loves awkward interactions (which is great since she has a ton of them.) I love that she has a job that is a perfect fit for her. I also love her dance moves. I also love when she silent laughs and shakes.

Here is a small "clip" of Allison. Enjoy.

From: Allison

Sent: Mon 4/28/03 9:26 PM

To: kmb

Subject: fluffy scorpian

narrative poem by allison to kmb:

sometimes you remind me of a fluffy scorpion
sometime you remind me of a ball of earwax
sometimes you remind me of my disformed pinky toe (oh shoot, I don't' have a pinky toe)
sometimes you remind me of the squirrel that chewed it off
sometimes you remind me of a dandelion
but most of all, you remind me of a dung beetle

love ya,
allison

I decided to go with a picture from our freshman year at Central.

jodi: the blogger's blog on my blog

The other Jodi here…not the roommate…the other one…the “older Iowan” (did you know this is an official day at the State Fair? Older Iowan’s Day…Yep! Fun times) Anyway – welcome to my post:

The pressure is absolutely INTENSE when you have to write on someone else’s blog because they were too lazy to post this month…umm..I mean when you have the honor of posting on someone else’s blog. You want to be funny or insightful and wise or sentimental. I’m feeling not much of any of these things tonight. I think it comes down to the DEADLINE factor. I hate deadlines. Hate em, hate em, hate em. Thank you Krista for giving me one – really ‘preciate it. I don’t have these issues with my own blog. I write whatever I want, whenever I want. You have a blog, you say? Why, yes I do! Thanks for asking! It is a Mommy blog I guess you’d say. I could tell you all of the things I post about, but really you should just read it yourself….subscribe to it in a Reader…cuz I like it when people read my blog. I like it even more when you leave comments. Aren’t comments to a Blogger like crack to a drug addict? (which reminds me – my 2-yr-old calls McDonald’s the “Diet Coke House” – yes, Diet Coke IS my crack, thank you very much). I think all bloggers have a bit of a need to be read – fuel for the self-esteem when hundreds (I jest…dozens if I’m lucky) a week peer into your mind – your life (ok – suddenly I feel creepy about that – nevermind).

Anyway, I created my blog at first as a way to record these years for my children (Bailey (12), Lauren(2) and Grant (7 months).

Since I am now outnumbered by children (advice for you youngins…stop at two people – or hire a Nanny if you must have more – cuz when you have to switch from the parental man-to-man to a zone defense…things get ugly). Here’s the guy I zone defense with:

I love scrapbooking but never have the time (see previous sentence about being outnumbered)…so this blog thing was going to be my way of recording pictures, the funny things the kids say, the accomplishments, the tears, etc. Today it is so much more! It is my outlet – my journal I guess. I’m actually kind of blog-addicted. And it isn’t just MY blog….I am currently subscribed to over 70 blogs – I KNOW! Insane, right? But I heart them! Some are other Mommy blogs, some are couponing/money-saving/thrifty blogs where they tell me where the sales are on shampoo and where to get coupons online or otherwise and get the stuff for FREE! (love that!). Some are celebrity gossip (I know – bad…but I pretend it is for “work” - I am a PR freelancer and work for a women’s magazine – my job is to get “celebs” interested in a cover story), some are recipes/cooking…I even have a whole category of blogs specifically about garage saling/yard sales.

Ok, so now that you know I’m a little weird, you won’t be surprised to learn that I’m actually RELATED to Krista. =-) Krista is my cousin. (My Mom & her Mom are sisters). We have a unique relationship – I am 13 years older than she is (I think? Crap – I’m old!) Anyway – I was old enough to remember when she was born. (crazy!). Krista is 11 years older than MY daughter (I think?) Anyway – I obviously love Krista because she is family – but our relationship is more than just the typical “cousin” relationship. Because of how she lands between me and my daughter’s ages….sometimes I have this maternal feeling about Krista – sometimes a sisterly feeling and sometimes I feel like she’s my friend. I hope I’m communicating this ok – and that it doesn’t come out weird or creepy. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think Krista is amazing – she’s an absolute RAWK STAR! She is funny, smart, kind, beautiful, grounded, faithful, sensitive, compassionate, encouraging, truthful, loving….….but she totally sucks with e-mail. Apparently once she actually forwarded something really embarrassing to a huge list of people…but didn’t mean to. I’m sure it was the computer’s fault….darn Jody’s (roommate) computer. She is a great role-model for my daughters and just an overall beautiful person. If you know her…and call her friend…here is a reminder that you’ve been blessed.

Alrighty…well…this has turned into a random thoughts post – sorry. I had higher hopes for myself…my Krista’s blog debut….but it is 9 p.m….May 1 (because the naggy Krista is DEMANDING we turn in our posts at least a day ahead of time! How does THAT work anyway? Make people do your blog work and then demand a deadline out of ‘em. Hmph!)…and I’m getting tired (Remember – I told you I was an “older Iowan” and that I was outnumbered my rugrats). Plus I have to go watch the latest episode of “The Office” that I TiVo’d earlier tonight (LOVE THAT SHOW!). Other shows I love (and then I’m finishing – I mean it):

The Bachelor (can’t help it…like a train wreck…just have to watch)
Boston Legal
Jon & Kate Plus 8
Little People, Big World
What Not To Wear (It is the same as watching Aerobics to me…I should be DOING it…following their wardrobe advice…but instead I sit in my sweats watching it)
Brothers & Sisters (LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this one!!!)
Grey’s Anatomy

….just to name a FEW

Ok – hope I didn’t bore you too badly. If I did? You know who to blame…and it rhymes with Sistah =-)

*Blog owner's note: I hope that you have better pictures of me than this, Jodi. Grant is my godson. Bailey is Jodi's daughter, whom I've posted about before. Lauren is really cute and gets excited to see me and it is one of my favorite things. Jodi makes me laugh a lot. I want to watch Man vs. Wild with mark on his HDTV.

introducing: jodi

For all of you that are checking off your original "guest writers" email- there is a little switch up. I am a little nervous that it is only the second day and I already have a slacker writer. (Love ya, Allison.) So... today's writer is Jodi.

Although she complains about how I had a deadline, she got her blog to me early which actually worked out really really nicely. The rest of you better not slack, though.

Jodi is my cousin. She says it well in her blog but we have a very unique relationship. I love her. I want to be her. I would really like to steal her kids. There was a time when I was contemplating moving to Des Moines and a lot of it was so that I could be closer to her and her family because I hate that I am not there to see them grow up. Although I always have things pulling me back to the Des Moines/Pella area so I get to see the family quite often.

Jodi is an amazing mother, friend, daughter, wife, and person. She challenges herself and loves to learn. She is proud of her kids and has reason to be. I love the times we laugh at silly things and share crazy emails. Don't get us talking about our family because our eyes will fill with tears at the amount of blessing that is wrapped up in it. And a quick thank you to Jodi for always letting me steal your half-read books.

ashlee's "your blog, my blog, bloggity bloggity blog"‏

Here you go! It is longer than I thought it would be. I made it blue.

Hello fellow bloggers! So, I must confess that it took me a while to figure out what to write on this blog. I think that I pressured myself to have this awesome blog, and everything I thought of seemed dumb. But, in a way, I guess that I am dumb. So, on with the blog. (If you say “blog” many times, you can’t help but start laughing. Especially if you add hand motions and watch yourself saying it in the mirror. That’s just what I have heard...) Today, I sat down and made a list of all of the things I could talk about on this blog (blog, ha ha). See, apparently I think that lists are the way to solving the problems of my life. Here are some examples of lists I have right now. I have lists of life goals, things to do today, this week, this month, this summer, and this year. I have lists of possible songs that I could play at my brother’s wedding in August. I have lists of things that are true and things that are lies. I have lists of what lists I should make. I am pretty much list-oriented, but still completely clueless about life. Here was my list of things to write about in Krista’s blog (some of them might have sub-lists).
1. “Am I normal?” – the list of all the weird stuff I do that I secretly wonder if anyone else does also. Like, ok, everyone picks their nose when driving, right? But what do YOU do with the booger?
2. Talk about the myths of childhood. Like, all the things I thought I would do when I was an adult, and now I am supposed to be an adult, and life isn’t anything like I had planned…yet. Like, I don’t own a red convertible or have a big pet tiger or a roller coaster take me work at a job where I get paid to do whatever I want.
3. Funny subbing stories. Like the time when I was teaching 6th graders and we brainstormed ways to control the rabbit population. When the ways turned a little violent (like, shoot them, throw firecrackers at them, shove Alka-Seltzers down their throats (I did not encourage these violent ways)), the teacher’s aid said something like, “We cannot control the rabbit population by hurting the rabbits.” And some kid said, “We can neuter them!” and another kid said, “That hurts! Believe me!” And I changed the subject. (This was today). (Re-read the teacher’s aid’s comment. Does it make sense to YOU?)
4. Vent about the random jerks that anger me, and ask you people if you know people like this, and discuss possible solutions to end jerkiness. (Like, shoot them, throw firecrackers at them, shove Alka-Seltzers down their throats.)
5. Wacko dreams I have had or weird things I have done in my sleep. Last night I dreamt (dreamed?) that I was playing whack-a-mole, but with a garden hose and flames. Last year I sat up in bed, yelled “Jackpot!” threw an imaginary football as hard as I could, and hit my sleeping husband in the stomach, causing him to whimper.
6. Convince all people to save the world by being Amish. But then, I would be a hypocrite because I would have to use technology to convince you of this.
7. Random thoughts I have had today (but that is a little scary and usually embarrassing.)
8. Tin-snips/garbage-man/dump-truck story (but that is too long…as if my current blog isn’t)
9. What I did today (because every little thing that happens to me is really a dramatic story of hilarity)
10. Pretend like I am someone else writing a blog on the wrong day, so that everyone could make fun of that person. But that would probably be acting like a jerk. Especially if I pretended to be Krista’s mom. (Hi Cheryl!)
11. Write about something that makes me sound intelligent. That way I can fool all of the people who do not know me into thinking that I am really smart and ultra-cool. But then, the people who know better would probably think that someone wrote my blog pretending to be me. And I would get made fun of.

So, there you have it. And there I have it. My blog for today is finished.

Love you Krista! It would be really embarrassing to me if I said something like, "I make a pile of boogers in my car's cup-holder" and then you accidentally posted it with my blog. Note: this paragraph is in BLACK, and my blog is in BLUE. and if you put this in there, you will be BOTH. ha ha. I am laughing really hard at myself right now, and I didn't even have to say it many times in front of a mirror with hand gestures. hahaha. Later! i will call you tonight.

ashlee

*Blog owner's note: I actually called to make sure it was ok to post the black part. She told me I would pay, but I thought it was worth it. Also she asked me to make some disclaimer that she actually doesn't put them in her car's cup holder... she said something about how she only puts them there if she is full because usually she eats them. Or flicks them out the window. I can't remember...

introducing: ashlee

Some things you should know about Ashlee.

a. She used to have a different last name. Then she switched her last name for protection purposes. Or because she got married.
b. She likes to burn stuff.
c. So does her husband.
d. I convinced people in college that she was Amish. Because she is. (people actually believed I went to Central's gross pond to get her bath water since she couldn't use electricity/showers. I swear it's a legit school..)
e. She is really really funny.
f. That's why we are friends.
g. That and a million other reasons.
h. She keeps me real. Jerk.
i. She really loved when I crawled into her bed to snuggle. (or the exact opposite)
j. One time we laughed the exact same for a few minutes. It was quite weird.
k. I was going to ask her to be my roommate at freshman orientation, got scared, said goodbye. Got yelled at by my parents. Went back to ask her and she was with a group of girls so I said "goodbye" again (came back to say goodbye?! right. awkward). When I got home there was an email from her asking if I wanted to be her roommate. It's been love ever since.
l. She has a "toe thumb." The best part is that she thinks the other one is straight because that is the thumb she sucked as a child.
m. She sent me this letter.