goodbye post

I have drafted a couple posts about saying goodbye. I'm not going to post them.

Apparently, besides having actual issues SAYING them, I also have issues even talking about them.

This could be interesting.

crazy ladies and decorating ideas

I like crazy ladies. They make for good stories, yet also sometimes I lose patience.

When I worked at the Transitional Living Program for girls coming out of DCFS, the woman who trained me was kind of a crazy lady. 

There was the whole "black pen" thing.  We had to write our logs and legal reports in black pens.  So I would bring them and leave them there.  Right? That way you don't have to remember one all the time because they were just THERE.

Wrong.  This crazy lady would go on and on about how she would always have to bring her own pens because she didn't want to get in trouble for using a blue one.  She lectured me as I asked her if she could please leave me one of her stock since I hadn't brought my own.. being as I left my black pens at the house.  Every time this happened, she would continue her lecture as she handed me one of MY PENS.

I found these pictures while uploading them to my mac.  Apparently I wanted to blog about this before I even had a blog.  Here are some things she bought for the house.. of teenage girls.. with some state money.

Future roommates: What do you think? Potential for "our" new house??

official, i guess

Maybe you didn't even know that I applied to grad school.

But I have been accepted. And I'm going.

Minus financial, I think I would be really really excited about it. I have decided at some point to get over money and be fully excited.

Which is good.  Really good.

It'll go like this:

September 28, turn 25.

September 29, start grad school and work towards my MSW (equivalent).

pictures i couldn't take

I "just" returned from Royal Family Kids Camp.

No cliche's seem to do the trick. "What a week." or "That was indescribable." or "I'm wrecked."

I guess that you can imagine if you asked me how my week was, I would give you some look of pain mixed with happiness and my eyes would fill with tears.  I might try to dredge out some sort of sentence formation trying to describe that it was life giving to be with them and unbearable to see their pain all at the same time.

Here are some pictures that I took in my head since we couldn't have our cameras (kills me every time):

Lynn talking softly to her girls with their full intent in our cabin.

One of my girls' beautiful, but rare, smile.

All of the girls packed in the front of the boat with Lynn, huge smiles and Jack Johnson blaring.

Me and one of my girls doing the cupid shuffle using our fingers to look like legs while riding on the bus (which is why we weren't doing it WITH our legs).

Two times with counselors/kids on the big wood swing. Chilling and talking.

Reunion with my girl from last year.

Pulling three girls around in the water at one time (I'm THAT buff).

Tyler and one of his favorite camper's smiles. They are sooo similar.

Pictures that do exist that I want:

Me and one of my girls in the lake. I'm pulling her and we are laughing at each other and happy. This is before she shut me out mid-week.

One of my girls beautiful smile with her name sign behind her, sharing to the world that she is a promise (her Christian name means promise.. we put on all of the signs along with their real name.)

One of Julie's girls looking off in the distance.

One of the pictures where they are together.

Picture of one of my girls on my back in the water (maybe against the rules).

I could think of some more but it is about time I post about this, so I am going to and I may add on some more as they come to me/I read through the journal.

what? no blogs?!

Hey everyone. I am leaving for Royal Family Kids Camp today. It doesn't seem like it has been a year since last year when I went to Wisconsin to love these kids that haven't been shown it before. It seems like longer, actually.

I've thought of some things that you can do while I am gone.

Sunday: Pray for us.
Monday: Pray for us.
Tuesday: Pray for us.
Wednesday: Pray for us.
Thursday: Pray for us.
Friday: Pray for us. We'll come back this day but you can continue praying. We'll need it. So will the kids.

talent show

kmb: Hey, mr. five, you hit me with your bobber.. again.
mr. four: You should give better lessons.

After a great day of teaching the boys how to cast in the back yard (just a bobber, no hooks. best idea EVER) I headed over to a school for the talent show that some friends and I set up.

I was nervous, because that is what I do, but I had no reason to be. I have amazing, laid back, hilarious, talented friends.

We made almost $150 for Relay for Life and it was absolutely entertaining.

Ironically the day that Jake blogged about his "toenail song" is the same day that I used that very song to take third place at this very talent show to receive an irreplaceable prize.

etsy

I made my first purchase from etsy.  Etsy is a website where people can sell their crafty items to people that are cool. So everything is one of a kind, and not slave labor. 

I drag a lot of stuff to work every day, even though I hardly have time to do any of it.  I had been using a bag that I found in my basement, and it was falling apart.

I found this bag and purchased it.  It is cute AND cute little chinese/korean/etc kids did not make it for little money as it came directly from Oregon. Or Ohio. Anyway, no slave labor. Probably.

 

If you are like me and you would want to know what it is that I have to carry around every day, just in case, here it is:

Bible

Journal

Markers (I just bought new ones!)

Cards (the kind you send to people)

Real Simple Magazine

A book

Notebook- that has the book that I am "writing" (but not writing)

occupational therapists

I used to think that occupational therapists were people that helped you figure out what to do with your life. I still have to think about it a bit when I hear the term.

I wish that they were. I'd go see one.

Maybe I just want someone to make all my decisions for me.... Anyone??




I have more stuff to blog about but I am waiting for my MACBOOK. Actually, I am waiting for a time when I am free to coincide with my apartment complex office hours so that I can go get it since that is where it is. I only know that because I was stalking the macbook whearabouts on my email, not because the apartment OR fedex gave me any notice.



Excitement.

jake: friendship

At the beginning of May I told Krista that I was going to write the "Introducing: Jake" part, AND the "blog owner's note" part, and that way she wouldn't have to add anything to what I sent her. I realized, though, that Krista is really good at explaining her relationships with people, and that she's more amusing than I am... so I changed my mind.

I've seriously been thinking for an entire month about what I was going to write about. For weeks now I've been enjoying posts by all of Krista's friends, and they're all super amazingly good. It makes me wish I was friends with all of you (okay, maybe not all of you... just kidding). So, I've tried to come up with really original and creative ideas. After all, I am supposed to be the last in the "Krista's Friends" series. I wanted to go out with a bang. In the end, I stopped trying so hard, because this post could never be quite as good as I'd like it to be. So, I just want to tell you one of my very favorite stories not only of my relationship with Krista, but in my entire college career.

My freshman year seven of us took a trip over fall break to Six Flags for Frightfest. We were piled into two cars. We left campus on Wednesday afternoon and got back on Sunday evening. Along the way, we stayed at my house (in eastern Iowa) and at Krista's. On the way, she explained that she lived in a little area called Up-the-Alley, Illinois. At least, that's what I thought she said. In reality, she lived on a road called Epleyanna. It was a nice little village. I think when the seven of us rolled into Krista's driveway, we were tripling the current population, but I could be wrong. Anyway, Krista's parents were fantastic. We all had a slumber party in the basement (not her parents, just the seven of us college kids). I taught Krista the following song:

I have a magic toenail, I keep it on my foot
It's always there to rescue me when something goes 'kaput'
It has the cutest cuticles, free of all disease
As toenails go it's really quite extra-ordinary
Thank you, thank you, thank you magic toenail
(spoken)
I love my magic toenail. It is magical and good.
Sometimes I take my toenail to lunch and give it a sandwich.
Because it likes to eat the sandwiches.
Thank you, thank you, thank you magic tooooooooooenaaaaaaaaaaaaail!

Years later, after I'd completely forgotten about the song, Krista would still bring it up and ask me to sing it.

The next day at breakfast I took the Dole sticker off my banana and I stuck it to my forehead. I promptly forgot about it, and the sticker stayed on me the whole day. We spent 10 hours at Six Flags and went on 5 roller coasters (lines were long). I wouldn't have had it any other way. Our friends are hilarious. Chip and Anna had a loud, uncomfortable "break-up" in every line (they weren't ever dating, but it was fun to listen to Chip berate Anna because she had kept her "diseased ovaries" a secret from him), and my brother, Joel, introduced himself as Jedediah, the Amish guy. It was cold, dreary, and windy all day, but to this day that trip is one of the greatest experiences I've ever had.

Thanks to all of you for the fantastic reading over the last month. And a special thanks to Krista for coming up with this idea, and for being such a great friend.

P.S. I think there's a difference between "best" friends and "favorite" friends. I think there was a time that Krista was one of my best friends, but since we haven't lived near each other in years now, and since we rarely get to see or talk to each other, I don't think I can still say that. However, ever since I met her at the beginning of my freshman year at Central, she's definitely been one of my favorite friends.


*Blog owner's note: When Jake told me he was going to write the intro and the blog owner's note for me I was a little nervous because I.. uh.. maybe do have some control issues and I wanted to say great things about this man. I was also excited though because I knew it would have been really great.



Jake didn't mention that prior to his singing the song we had spent about 30 minutes yelling at eachother to be quiet because we knew we needed go to bed.. then about 10 minutes of silence later he busted into the song. The timing and setting was perfect. Man I miss this kid...

introducing: jake

I have so much to say about this kid I don't know where to start.

I love Jake's laugh. I don't think I love it more than the fact that it is really easy to get it out of him. If you hang out with Jake you feel like the funniest person ever. (No it isn't the only reason I hang out with him. And you should know that wonderfully, his wife is the same way!)

Jake and I became friends freshman year and the friendship only grew stronger throughout our others.

Jake is hysterical and also very serious. He is one of those guys that you can count on.. for anything. You know how you might have a friend that you turn to for good music, to vent, to laugh, to have good discussion? Jake.

We went to Turkey together. I wish I had my journal here because I could come up with some good stories. Like how we were in a van FOREVER with the slowest-funniest turkish driver who listened to the same 2 Turkish songs the entire ride. You should listen to the tape sometime.. I regret not buying it but I know there is no way I would have thought that then!

Ashlee, Jake, another friend and myself keep an email group that we started when MSN broke down one time. However, it is just the four of us now, we removed the 4 people that didn't appreciate the 230 messages they had in their inbox the next morning. You probably wish you could be part of this email group, but I am sorry. You can not.

He knows me well enough that in college he sent me emails saying "Krista, I signed you up on our IM team" instead of asking me..

Maybe if I keep going I will start crying cause I miss him .. and his HUGS. Bah. They kind of envelop you. They are they way hugs should be.

Jake and Elizabeth.. move to Chicago. Thank you.

it is true

(I guess I'll have to, after tomorrow, get used to writing my own blogs again so here is some practice).

There are times
I feel the lines slipping through my hands and
my thoughts provoke my tears as I
try to understand
But
Your hand sustains me
Your love remains the only thing worth living for
That’s why You’re more
You are more than just enough
Please be more than just enough

- Sara Luneack, More Than Just Enough

andrew: fish

Growing up I was, as many have called me, "a big fish in a small pond." I spent most of my formative years in suburban Connecticut. Not the most exciting of all places. The cool thing to do on the weekends was to go to "The Commons" and loiter in front of Borders or Starbucks. It was the kind of place where a lot of people knew your name and who you were. You'd be out at lunch somewhere and see people you know, and get the waiter at your favorite breakfast place remembered your kids names, birthdays, and anniversaries.

I went to a small Christian school and loved the attention it afforded me. When I was in jr high I had so many acts in the talent show that one of my friends parents jokingly called it "The Andrew Means Experience." I was the kid who was asked to speak at convocations and parents days, I captained the tennis team (cool, I know), and was played Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof. I was, as they have said, "A bigfish in a small pond."

The nice thing about being a big fish in a small pond is that you feel important. You feel like you got something to bring to the world.You've got places to go and people to see. The bad thing about being a big fish in a small pond is that you might not realize how small you actually are.

This year I've ventured out of small pond life and dived into the lake of Willow Creek Community Church. You might not have heard about this place but to many, especially in the Christian community, it's a pretty big important pond and I was confident that I could quickly grow to become another big fish in a big pond.

But that's not exactly what happened. Over the course of the last year I got to do plenty of cool things and do them well but I never really felt like the most important or gifted person in the room. I never felt like I was better than anyone else, I was just one of many. And this caused a little bit of a crisis for me. My identity was wrapped up in being a big fish and yet here I was, just one of many. Not extraordinarily unique or gifted, no bigger than anyone else.

And so God began to teach me, it's not the size of the fish that matters but how you swim. God doesn't care about how big or small I am or my accomplishments, He just wants me to become myself and share that with others. He wants me to love others well and rest in the fact that He created me the perfect size. (Cheesy I know but I'm really beginning to think it's true.)

So as I've been saying my goodbyes and my time at Willow has been coming to an end. My accomplishments aren't at the forefront of my mind. I care less and less about that. I'm not discouraged that I didn't rise to the top and kick everyone's ass. I'm glad that Il earned more about who I am, how much God loves me, and how I've been able to swim alongside others.

introducing: andrew

I have a real jealousy issue with the fact that Andrew is always making himself smarter. He is always reading non-fiction books that challenge him, then I read his blogs about them.

Andrew just finished an internship at Willow Creek and I am sad to say goodbye.. yet wasn't even part of the internship! He and his wife Tovah are moving to the city at the end of this month. I am really sad that they won't be in the next suburb over, but also really excited because I know I will get to see them and we will still be great friends despite my suburban status.

Andrew is great. He is funny, encouraging, loving, smart, solid, and caring. He is real and deep yet makes you comfortable. You should check out his blog which is a very nice mix of articles, book and movie reviews, funny stuff, life happenings, and deep thoughts.

tovah: ailments

I know most of you are probably sick of me talking about grad school, but since that basically consumes my life at this moment, I'm going to talk more about it. My supervisor told me the other week that each year there are some students that develop weird physical ailments because of stress. We laughed about it and I was glad that I was not one of those students. This was until I have been having the worst time with my skin. Basically it looks like crap and is all red and nasty. So I have started a regimen at night to take care of this problem. This regiment involves me looking like this:

I also have become an AMAZING secret yawner...because it would really rude to yawn while a client was telling me how bad their week went, etc. So basically I still get the satisfaction of a real yawn, but do it without opening my mouth.

What else can I tell you about being a therapist in training... Sometimes I really wonder how people can be so brave and come into my office and just tell me the most private messy details of their lives. I also wonder how they can allow me, a stranger, help them look at really hard stuff about themselves. I wonder why some come back and wish some wouldn't. Some people look to me for approval and others could care less what I say. Sometimes I think it takes a real whacko to be a therapist... but I love it, and am always amazed at people's resiliency.

p.s. I think Krista is going to be an AMAZING social worker :) She is the best list-maker in the world, and I love every quirky thing about her :)

Blog owner's note: It comforts me in this world full of pain, yet hope, to think that God created, and is using, people like Tovah to move us toward His Kingdom.

introducing: tovah

Tovah told me that she likes it when I write in lists. So, of course, that is what I am going to do.

Below is a list including some of the qualities that I want to steal from Tovah:

1. cooking skills

2. photography skills

3. therapeutic skills

4. numchuck skills (ask me about my first impression of Napoleon Dynamite sometime)

5. solid skills

6. Biblical knowledge skills

7. hilarity and randomness skills

8. budgeting skills

9. being able to care for everyone, somehow, behind the scenes usually skills

10. being hot skills

11. healthy eating skills

12. being amazing skills

13. thinking on the spot skills

14. being challenging skills

15. calling people out skills

16. volleyball skills (I really have no clue on this particular one but no matter what, they are probably better than my own!)

17. being hospitable skills

18. being really wise skills

JUST so Tovah doesn't yell at me.. I know that I do have some of these skills but I am trying to say that I enjoy Tovah's skill set and how she blesses people.